Thirty Day Notice
by Quacky
Summary: This is a one-shot story based on the Three Billy Goats Gruff. The troll gets fed up and tired of his job...Please tell me what you think!


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Here is a quick little tale about the three Billy Goats Gruff from the troll's Point of View. This is nothing special...but it was kinda fun to write. It follows the usual story line, just from a different perspective.**

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I sat slumped against one of the posts holding the bridge up. The heat was awful and beads of sweat dripped slowly down my cheek and off the tip of my abnormally large nose. This job was so dull...no one used this bridge anymore... I yawned lazily and scratched my flabby stomach. A few tufts of grass wavered in the slight breeze. Usually, on a hot summer day, like today, a breeze was welcomed, but not today. All it was doing was shifting the stuffy air and making the outdoor life even more miserable than it already was.  
  
I sighed, stood up, and stretched. My grungy pinstripe pants stuck to my legs and my suspenders itched on my bare back. I trudged over to my tree stump and rubbed my back against it. The bark was rough and flaked of as I used it as a back scratcher. My belly jiggled slightly as I moved up and down. It's true, I wasn't as fit or scary as when I started this job, but I still got it done. I heard laughter from nearby. From the tone of it, it sounded like a little girl, maybe seven years old, 57 pounds and wearing pink garden shoes.  
  
She was getting closer, and I ran over to check in the old broken mirror I had found floating in the river one day. My reflection came up in all of the cracked sections and I grinned crookedly. My teeth were a yellow hue and several were chipped. I checked my breath, it smelled like three day old orange juice and my last meal of raw fish. What can I say? This job doesn't come with a great meal benefits. And I can't exactly walk into a store and buy me a dozen muffins, either. I examined myself a little closer. My skin had a greenish shade to it, and the heat had made it dry and cracked, giving me a scaly look. My hooked nose stuck out much farther than a human's nose, and a few hairs stuck out of my nostrils. I breathed in deeply and all the little hairs went in my nose; then I breathed out and they once again exposed themselves. I chuckled, when you're this bored, you are easily amused.  
  
More laughter reminded me I had some work to do. I scuttled beneath the bridge out of sight. Clump clump clump. I heard the little girl skip onto the bridge. "Who's that trotting over my bridge?" I growled, rolling my eyes. That line was so old, but a requirement.  
  
The girl stopped and peeked through a knothole in one of the boards. "I'm Alicia Stetson. I want to cross the bridge to get my mommy some flowers." She was already clutching a few daisies to her chest.  
  
"Oh no, you're not! I'm going to eat you for lunch!" I jumped out and made a face at her, sticking out my tongue, crossing my eyes, waggling my hands and shouting, "BUBALAGLAAAA!" She shrieked and ran off, petals falling behind her.  
  
I sighed, "Poor kid...oh well. Maybe she'll grow a phobia against bridges..." I thought to myself, smirking at the idea.  
  
The rest of the afternoon was just as tedious as the morning. I was hot, bored out of my mind and sweating buckets. I took a quick dip in the river and that helped cool me off, but it also cleaned me off. I made myself a small puddle of mud and bathed myself in it before it dried up in the sun. One again, a dirty, smelly mess, I took up my post in the shade under the bridge.  
  
That evening as I sat slouched over, I heard a clippity-clop sound coming from the dirt path leading to the bridge. I hid myself and the clopping grew nearer. I heard little hooves on my bridge and roared, "Who's that trotting on my bridge?"  
  
"It's me, Billy Goat Gruff." A goat? What did a goat want across the bridge? "I'm going across to eat some of the sweet grass on the other side."  
  
"Oh no, you're not! I'm going to eat you for dinner!"  
  
Before I could jump out, the goat squeaked, "Wait! Don't eat me! I'm the scrawniest of my three brothers. I would taste absolutely horrendous! Wait until my brother, the second Billy Goat Gruff? He's much bigger than me!" I wasn't hungry, but I went ahead and let the little goat pass.  
  
"I'll eat you on the way back!" I called after him. Soon, I heard another clip-clop sound. This one was heavier than the last. "Who's the trotting across my bridge?" I snarled.  
  
"It is I, Billy Goat Gruff. I want to eat the sweet grass on the other side of the bridge."  
  
"Oh no, you're not! I'm going to eat you for dinner!" Just like last time, before I could jump out, the goat piped up. ""Hold on! Don't eat me! I may be bigger than my younger brother, but I'm still much smaller than my other brother, the third Billy Goat Gruff. Why don't you eat him?" I still wasn't hungry so I let the second goat pass.  
  
"Get fat on the other side and I'll eat you when you cross back over!" I shouted to him. Not a minute later, I heard yet another clip-clop sound. This one was MUCH heavier sounding and I licked my lips. I had started working up an appetite with the other two goats and was ready for dinner. "Who's that trotting across my bridge?" I screamed.  
  
"It is I, Billy Goat Gruff," said a deep sounding voice. "I am crossing your bridge to join my brothers and munch on some grass."  
  
"That's what you think. I'm going to eat you for dinner! I'm hungry!" I came out from below the bridge and heaved myself up onto it, with a few grunts and groans. I found myself looking at a full-grown billy goat, with a full head of horns. He pawed the ground and galloped full speed at me. I made an "oomph"ing noise as his horns collided with my stomach.  
  
"Eating dinner..yeah that's what you think." The goat retorted. I felt my feet lift off the ground as I soared into the air. I flailed my arms around trying to position myself so I would land less painfully.  
  
I fell into a clump of bushes and crawled out. "Oy vay..." I stood up, plucking twigs from my trousers. "Consider this my thirty day notice..." I grumbled and waddled back to my spot, rubbing my sore backside as I went.

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**Well, there you have it! That only took about an hour, I think, so it's not that great. Please tell me if you liked it! Toodles for now!**


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